Meetings with Remarkable Men, Part 2

I want to start with a guy who I met just a few times, who was part of my rpg-group-Scot's group of childhood friends. He and his brother's names both started with C., and if anyone was smarter than my gentle giant friend who was all smart than it was these two. The family just had the right genes for the right sense of smarts. I remember pretty clearly now the couple of times I met him, and it was again - Mr. Shortbus who was the reason I never met him any more times.

The thing about C., the first son was his ability to play Warhammer. Trust me, he had brains in plenty of other departments, and I think still that he was smarter than me, but man when he would start at Warhammer. I may have mentioned that in WH40K at the time, Chaos was the most powerful army - by far.

The problem was that the Chaos army was impossible to play. The units were major expensive, and the stats made no sense. I took one look at a Chaos Marine Warp card, as each Chaos Marine was to individual to really make the Codex, and my first thought was, "What are these stats? How do you field these units?" The Chaos Marines were the cheapest Chaos unit, and it was obvious from the stats that they played nothing like a normal Space Marine.

Another funny one was the Slaanesh figurine. Slaanesh was a hugely powerful and expensive character fig, but no one but this C. ever fielded it without losing it as soon as it was fired on. I called it, "the Void Devourer of Tactical Marine Squads." In general the easiest way to play WH40K was to play Space Marines and field mostly Tac' Squads, but you didn't do that against C., because as if by magic, Slaanesh devoured every Tac' Squad on the board before you could blink an eye.

The thing was that by the time I met C. he was like 15 or 16, and people didn't want to play WH40K against him because he ate them up so bad. Just devoured them into the Warp. He was better at Warhammer Fantasy - even at the time - which by most 'HammerZealots reckoning is a much better game. He rarely lost a fig, played expensive units over quantity, played only weird armies and weird units - and it was just unreal. C. would never have sharked people unless it was for a reason besides money, but he could have made a large income on sharking people at 'Hammer.

So back to Mr. Shortbus. He always called the Chaos army, "gay," and I'm sure that Golden Porker was feebly trying to imply that C. was, "gay." Looking back now, I would have reasoned with the Golden Porker. "Erm... Chaos is the most powerful army, but no one I've ever met other than C. can figure out how to play that army. Stop putting C. down because 'Hammer is his best material." (It was at the time, he was 15 or 16.)

Anyway, Golden Porkers aren't capable of learning, but at least a strong statement could have been made at a more appropriate time. Another thing to mention is that I think both the CB's could do anything I do better than me, if it was where they focused their efforts. They have simply chosen different places to put there efforts. My gentle giant buddy - AM - could wax me in any category - I'm sure - if he wasn't so busy on other projects.

I remember AM sitting with the micro and maco soldering irons and the Radio Shack transistors and making solid-state guitar pedals right from the perf-board that were better than the analogs and the digi's sold on the market. Further, I was a child musical prodigy, but at 15 or so, he had a better ear than me and some skills that I didn't have.

Last time I spoke with him - and between Golden Porker and my own mistakes - plus he gets 200 emails a day and is working on projects that pay money - he said that he had given up the muse of music for the muse of coding. He let me know he cared - after all that went down - and took time from 200 emails a day to send those emails that meant a ton to me for no money down, because that is AM. That is the kind of man he is.

Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like to have been born all-heart. I was a lot less hard-edged back even 4 years ago, but I was born to make war, and always was. Experience has hardened everybody, even AM, but I started out as a boy - born to make war.

I guess we need both types of people in the world, but man - I try to imagine AM going "You fouled up, and I'm racked for time, but I'll send you two emails letting you know I care, buddy." He also explained that he would like to send emails back and forth, but even with all the bad-blood, the big reason he couldn't correspond was that he simply didn't have the time to do it.

That was real. Even with all the congealed blood and rotting corpses underneath my bed, he would have corresponded except that - mostly - he just didn't have the time. Alright, final thing. Get this, and then I want to do a real bizarre Optik at the, "Mirror,"-blog.

Someone said to me who knew the Golden Porker from WoW, just WoW, not in person, that in his opinion the Golden Porker was the most feeble-minded and most perverted individual who had ever lived on the planet Earth. That stung, but instantly I thought - "Erm... that might actually be real, I know that guy pretty well."

I can't talk about even the few of the most heinous events I do know about, but what went down with the Golden Hippo was so bad that it pales the mind. I can't talk about it because people let their guard down and got hit by this feeble-minded, fat, weakling, because they didn't realize that they needed to be on guard around something that can barely move and talk as well as your local farm-heifer. The whole world would eat me alive if I even slipped about what went down.

I'm powerful as hell, and I mean that in every sense, but if the whole world goes against me - I'll still fry. Plus, I don't want to make it any worse than it already is. I'd like to be a healing warrior and not a destructive one. I don't want to fry people all over the place. I'd like to benefit valuable people a bit with what I've got to give.

Further, the Golden Hippo has never hit me the way he did some others, because I put the fear in him quick. So when I get thinking creative and smelling his baby-powder and feces, I realize that there are a handful of people who get to draw straws as to who gets their turn first.That isn't me. I'm not even in line for a straw.

If the Golden Hippo sees it, look at the profile pic and pretend you didn't see next time I have to smell dove bars and crap. Further, you're not dead because you haven't suffered enough to die yet, and that is the one and only one reason why. Everyone feels that way. By the way, for those with beef at the albino hippo - who doesn't got beef? - go talk to the CB's or AM if you can turn them up, as they're smart people and might have some creative ideas. I'm not sure who all gets a straw, but I'm not touching dove-poo, because a lot of people get to go first. As the recommendation of a warrior - apply the pressure hard, but don't let him die of shock.

I just realized that I might be broaching blogspot guidelines with a few of the recent ones. I'll tell you - what makes sense to me is to post this because it seems important and then let the site decide. If my pages on the site go down then I'll wait a few months and start over with a bit more discretion. So there we are. I'll go over to to the mirror and do something I want to do, and I'm trying to say it right without going hog-wild. Lay-tah.

More thoughts on the Human Tribe, Meetings with Remarkable Men

In sociology today, what everyone teaches is that no matter what your ethnicity, if you lived in a certain cultural environment, then you would be just the same as anyone else. To me - this is an apotheosis of bigotry. It is real that even though there are a broad range of human phenotypes - displayed characteristics - that across the globe - human genotypes differ hardly at all.

Blood type, which is probably the most significant measurable human genotype differs hardly at all across the globe, whether in Norway, Kenya, or Beijing. Yet - I feel human lineage and geneaology have an incredible effect on human character. I do not rule out any ethnicity simply as a category, and have met remarkable men and women of any ethnicity you might name. To treat people with only the prejudice that I will measure them as I meet them is a difficult task, but it has given me many gifts in life, and I continue to measure people in this way.

I want to start with two Scots I knew, of two very different characters, but also similar in some way. First I just want to talk about visiting Scotland. Most of the Scots I met in Scotland were quite crude, and proper drunk also seemed to be an average. However, even crude and proper drunk, they were mannerly and seemed to be on average - good people.

Edinburgh, Scotland was one of the most beautiful and cleanest cities I have ever visited. Everything is well-attended and incredibly green. It is mostly so green because it rains about three-quarters of the year. I have a lot of Scotland stories, and it isn't one of my tribes, but this is great material I've collected. So let me start with our first remarkable man.

I was in group-therapy with a guy of true Scottish descent. He was five feet six inches tops, and couldn't have weighed more than a hundred pounds. He had that true Scottish coppery-hair mixed with a lot of other colors. He didn't dye it, and he wore it long even though he was balding, just to be an SOB. That was exactly why he did it.

He had worked in brick-laying for at least 15 years. When he was angry, it was as if that coppery-hair was rising off his head. His face and ears were red, and it was as if flames were rising out of his scalp. My thought would be, "You'd better clamp that trap shut, because a modern Cossack is about to commit fiery murder." I can fight, but I would not tangle with a modern Cossack who can survive laying bricks for 15 years.

It is no wonder to me that the Roman legions were so afraid of the Scots, after meeting that man. The legions usually eventually won over anyone they fought, but they built a miniature wall of China - Hadrian's wall - to prevent having to skirmish with the Scots. I visited Hadrian's wall, and you are in this gloomy, cold place of rocks, crags, and a little brush and moss. Then the legions would find their guards at the wall disappearing.

Then a few weeks or a month later, they would find their brother legionaire's corpse lying around somewhere. Between that environment and the consistent loss of troops, the legions imagined the Scots and their Cossacks as demons rather than human beings. It was an unpleasant emotional experience for the guards of Hadrian's wall. Being sent to Hadrian's wall was like being sent to the Russian front.

It was no wonder that this man in my group was in psychiatric treatment. You do not lay bricks for 15 years without permanently damaging your body. Also, we discussed paganism a great deal, and a Scot is a pagan, no matter how you slice the pie. I remember once that this friend of mine was in group when I later talked about being Christian. I discussed it with the man and he tells me, "I didn't think you were being a liar. I know what you mean." That is brotherhood.

The man also had a wonderful Irish Setter. The Irish Setter is a breed that is usually so inbred as to cause a lot of trouble, and it is a problem breed in the AKC. The only good thing you can say about an inbred Irish Setter is that they are usually dumb and sluggish instead of vicious. A well-bred Irish Setter is worth thousands of dollars, and this man picked up an Irish Setter that was a real dog for very little money.

That was a durned good dog, and it could pick out a malignant character that was threatening its master from 2 miles away. The man had to fight to keep the dog, because malignant characters wanted it taken out of his home. I have a great story from the Hopi tradition about dogs that I've re-worked, but we'll do that at another time. A funny and very true story about humans and dogs.

So my next friend who was a Scot was a friend in my role-playing group. My friend was a very different looking sort of Scot. He was fairly tall and built with a heavy-bone structure, and he had very coarse, darkish-brown hair. His hair caused him no end of trouble. He also struggled a great deal with his weight. His weight was his biggest difficulty in life, and all of his friends watched him as he struggled and we worried about him.

This Scot had done a great deal of work on his geneaology, and he was in fact descended directly from a line of Cossacks. The Cossacks were used as shock-troops by the Scots, and when I talk about how the Scots were mean with a claymore, that was not everything with the Scots and the Cossacks. The thing about this Scot is that there was nothing mean about him. He carried himself with a lot of sensitivity and kindness.

We had a particular member of this group - and anyone who knows my history will know who - who used to frequently remark that "This Scot is so good with women because he acts gay." I can only wish that I had matched this hair-raising individual's number quicker, as it now becomes apparent how bad the situation was. The fact is, my direct response to that statement today would be, "First, Mr. Short-bus, this Scot acts so sensitive and kind because he is a sensitive and kind man. Second, women do appreciate such kindness and sensitivity. In fact, even though we're this Scot's friend - I count him as a brother - we appreciate it that he is so sincere and kind. Third, Mr. Born-to-Lose, this Scot struggles with his weight but he is very good-looking. Fourth, you don't mess with a good man that way - particularly when he has the blood of a Cossack in his veins."

I bet you this hair-raising individual has had a real day of reckoning, or if he hasn't yet - it is in his future. It occurs to me now that this Scot's own hair was beginning to stand on end some days, and flames were rising from his scalp, but it was very subtle, and boy is Mr. Short-bus going to pay. Another point to make is that this Scot loved the women he matched with, and even if these were not traditional or easy relationships, they lasted a fairly long time, and he cared for these women. Mr. Short-bus will never understand what that might mean. You were born-to-lose, and you will never understand the meaning of that.

We'll close this article, but I do want to talk about some other remarkable people I've met at a later date. One thing to remember here is simply this - this Scot was all-heart, and he wants the individual I met - dead. He also wants him dead after he writhes in agony plenty long-enough - first. That is not normal for a man who is all-heart, even if he has Cossack blood. I have another friend from High School - one of the gentlest giants you could ever meet - a genius and gentle to the point beyond belief - and he wants this guy dead in the same way.

This born-loser and I have a connection with each other that is a shame on me, and there is nothing else I can say. Life moves on, but when two good men with that kind of heart want to twist you around in a torture chamber - and want to make sure you don't die too fast under duress - then you are a significant piece of human-waste. Every man becomes a Mongol when faced with that kind of enemy.

As a man, a situation like this becomes intense, and you begin to smell the naphtha, envision burning villages, and start looking for a stout spear. It is part of being a man. Still - there is no pride in violence, and we all move on. Life was never what anyone envisioned it would be, and a good man moves on.

We'll talk the "dog story," next. I do need a break from writing though, because this material is painful for me to discuss. However, I will return shortly.

More on the Human Tribe, Some Thoughts on Asia

Let me start with some thoughts on Japan, and remember, there is no way for me as an American to politely discuss Japan, but I want to put some things down here. We'll start with a sort of simple story, after first discussing a term. The term is, gaijin, and the meaning is somewhere around, "dirty foreigner."

In Japan today, people do not want to be bigots - and that is average. For an average Japanese person to want to change anything about being Japanese is a massive deal. However, it is so ingrained in the Japanese character to hate anything that isn't Japanese - that it defies the mind. They have as many as a hundred or more polite euphemisms for gaijin, but they all essentially mean that you are a dirty foreigner. Further, as an American, you are the worst possible gaijin of gaijin, and we will go on to explain why through a story.

In the most traditional Shinto belief, the central and most sacred thing is the land of Japan. As harsh as the Japanese Isles are, they are the most sacred thing in traditional Japanese belief. In the most traditional Japanese belief, if you were Japanese and were not buried in Japanese soil - then you went to hell. There were no exceptions. This belief is not as widely held in Japan today, but it is the most traditional Japanese belief.

So - you are a tourist in Japan. You are the member of a nation who humiliated the Japanese in defeat, and dropped large weapons that decimated large numbers of Japanese people, and poisoned some of their sacred land. You are on their soil, and in the minds of almost every Japanese person, you deserve to die. They would slay you immediately without a mark on their conscience, except for one reason. It isn't good manners to slay you. It is improper form. It is disrespectful.

This is why you go to Japan as a tourist in a group, you stick with the group, and you mind your pint's and quart's when you are visiting there. You might disappear wandering around alone, and the American embassy would have trouble finding what is left of you if you were to disappear. The fact is that the average Japanese person doesn't think this is a good thing, but the fact is also that they would like you dead - particularly as an American - because you dare to step foot on Japanese soil after what has happened in history.

This is one reason our world is so fouled up today. No one can forgive or forget what has gone on in our history. This is not confined to the Japanese. None of us can forgive or forget, and so we're hacking at each other with our modern versions of machetes, though we all know that this is not the way the world should be.

The average Japanese person I have met on the Internet is far superior to the average American wandering our nation. This is because the average Japanese person has little luxury. Their lives are very hard. Further, in Japan, everyone lives at close-quarters, and has for many centuries, so manners are incredibly important. The intense concentration of the Japanese on manners makes their lives - livable.

I saw this when I visited England and Scotland as well. People live in close-quarters in England, so manners allow their lives to be livable, and so manners are an expectation in England, rather than icing on the cake. Familiarity does often breed contempt, and many in England see their country going to hell in a hand-basket, but what I experienced in England was a very orderly and mannerly world.

We do exactly the same in America. The gifts we do have we do not notice, and we see all of the American disorders taking us down into an abyss. There is truth to that, but that isn't everything - even about America.

Another story is one I tell very often. I had met a Japanese man on the 'Net, and we corresponded via email for a few months. One other very Japanese trait is to speak very indirectly. That is good manners in Japan. However, I understand indirection pretty well, and the message was, you are an American, and that makes you a take-caker among gaijin. However, we corresponded for some time, and in the end, the man told me that he counted me as a friend.

A thing about the Japanese is that no matter how indirect they are, they almost never lie. They say what they mean, even if they are being oblique in their manner of stating it. Further, if a statement is important, they are deadly serious about the statement. We might try being so sincere in America today.

So - imagine - I am a take-caker America among gaijin, from a nation that humiliated and defiled the Japanese people and their sacred land. I am friend to this man. These are amazing life-experiences that mean so much, even if I no longer correspond with the man anymore. I also recall that one time I deeply offended the man.

I still do not know what I had said to offend the man so badly. The man was ready to find a good japanese saber, fly to America, and hack me into small pieces. Not only was I unaware of what had offended him so badly, but this is a very average Japanese trait. This is true of both Japanese men and women. When a Japanese person goes on the offensive, you better beware. They are a fierce people. A wonderful people, but not to be toyed with.

I won't go into details, but stop at a local library and find a book of photography concerning the Pacific campaign in the second world war. It is a show-stopper. The Japanese fought like demons to defeat us as "dirty Americans," and we were forced to use our own demonic tactics to defeat them. No one can forget. We all want vengeance for what has happened. Our world is a big screw-up because of this desire for revenge.

Let me tell another story about the Buddha. In most ways, Buddhist religion views the first GuatmanBuddha in a way not dissimilar to the way Christians view Jesus. Buddha was also a martyr. However, the most traditional story about Buddha's martyrdom says something about the Asian mind that is not our Western ideal.

The story goes like this. Buddha preached a strict vegetarian diet. He is invited to a meal by a nobleman. Buddha decides that it will be good manners to attend the meal. He arrives at the meal, and the man is making a mockery of him. He has provided pork at the meal. Remember, pork was not very safe to eat in an older civilization.

Now - even though the man is making a mockery of him, if Buddha is to retain good form and have proper manners - he must eat the pork to respect the man's hospitality. So - Buddha eats the pork, gets food poisoning and dies. He was martyred over good manners. This is Asia!

Another wonderful example of the Asian ideal comes from the early Vedas. Across the large Asian geography, the Vedas are revered, although the interpretation of what this reverence means varies a great deal. This is one of the creation stories of the Vedas, and it is not the most important creation story, but it is a very early and sacred one.

So we have Brahma, the creator-god, an archetypal bearded old man wandering his pardisical garden. The irony seems to be that Brahma has gotten rather lazy, and he decides to lounge in a pool in this garden and falls asleep. He is asleep so long that a lotus-seed makes its way into his navel, and he is unaware that the seed has sprouted and bloomed.

In the bloom of this lotus flower that is in the navel of the creator-god is the middle-earth that we live in. The next irony is a later tale of apocalypse, where the creator-god wakes up from his lounging in the pool, plucks the lotus flower from his navel in irritation, and our entire world ends. This tale seems to the Western mind to simply be ironic, comical, and surrealistic. It is considered to be ironic, comical and surreal in Asia, but it is also a sacred story.

This is another one of our screw-ups in the post-modern world, because though we are still hacking at each other with our modern versions of machetes over our disagreements and for revenge - we are also attempting to dialogue about our differences. What makes this attempt at dialogue so difficult ought to be plain from these two stories. The great all-father of their creation myth will unintentionally grow our entire universe from his navel as a flower while he lounges, then bring on the apocalypse by irritably plucking this flower from his navel. The founder of a religious tradition is martyred over good mannners.

This is not the Western mind. So we dialogue with each other without much success so frequently because we simply can't understand each other - no matter what language we are speaking to each other in. To finish up this particular article, let me say something else. In general "post-modern," is a category used to critique our current state of affairs, which is not a pleasant state of affairs.

However, we have made perhaps one and only one improvement in our post-modern age. That is - that because there is so much diffusion of different ideals among ourselves, that we have begun to consider that our way of thinking is not the only way of thinking. At least we can consider that, no matter how badly we want our vengeance.

As far as we know, no culture in the world before us ever considered that other ways of doing things besides their own might have some value. So, while post-modernism is a critique of a sad state of affairs, we might want to have some pride as post-moderns that we can say to a very alien creation-myth, "That tale makes very little sense to me, but I can see that the tale has some value."

It could be a sign of good things to come, instead of a descent of our world into an abyss. No one can see into the future in that way - that was never the meaning of, "prophecy," in any Western tradition, but it could be a ray of hope. The next article is going to be fun, and it will be at this blog. You'll see.

MEtAL! A Hack at the Catalog

Metal is a big deal for adolescents, and every time I run into one who is metal-ing, I try to remember that I was once an adolescent too, and 10 years ago was when I was 6 or 7 years old. No need to be a jerk about the behavior. Still - when someone gets uppity with me about metal, I'll ask a question - so you're into Industrial - ever heard Ministry or Skinny Puppy? So you know metal, ever heard of thrash and "Kill Em' All" - ?

In terms of metal, Led Zeppelin was kind of the kick-start, but the three big "proto-metal," groups were Black Sabbath, Judas Priest, and Iron Maiden. None of those groups exactly sounds like metal, but this is the roots of the genre. Sabbath has a killer back-catalog, "Fairies Wear Boots" - Judas Priest was sort of like a Clash-influenced ancestor of Tool, and Iron Maiden was fronted by an operatic tenor. They are all killer groups, and a few tracks can be brought down from Gnutella. If you are a real metal-head, grab their catalog on disc, as it will be sure to inspire and inform you in the direction you might want to take off.

Let us start with Industrial, since that is a real big fad these days. If we want to be real technical, what most people call Industrial today is, "Industrial Metal." The oldest-old-skool "Industrial," was a form of electronica. A lot like Reese Saunderson, this guy who performed as "Eraserhead," in Detroit would run some modules and pan the pots, and then include sounds drawn from tape loops.

Eraserhead was the worst warp-head who ever performed. The luude-swillers started coming to his shows, and he was freaking them to the gates of hell on luudes, and then the tweakers started coming to prove people wrong that the Eraserhead was that hard. The tweakers would be running around urinating themselves trying to find the exit to the club in about 15 minutes.

There are almost no recordings around of Eraserhead's peformances, but I've heard a few scraps. It's obvious that the guy was hitting drugs that the best piplines in the world have never heard of. Remember, in some ways this is funny, but you don't run freakers, and Eraserhead was the king of freakers.

The next move in Industrial would have been what most people would tag as, "darksynth," or "darkwave," or "goth-synth," or "goth-wave." The big collective was Skinny Puppy, and "Addiction," and "Assimilate," and "WarlockED," remain some incredibly well-produced tracks. Also, Skinny Puppy ran lives shows better than anything you can get on recording. Skinny Puppy was a freak, but I've got some respect for that group. Eraserhead can burn in hell - and if there is no hell - there ought to be one for Eraserhead - or at least according to the tales people tell.

There were other groups like Front 242 or Meatbeat Manifesto, and I've managed to pull a few of those tracks down a few times. I generally do a spring-cleaning of my iTunes folder periodically, because my OS X BSD gets whiny if my iTunes folder gets too big. I have a lot less problems since I switched from Limewire to Cabos, but since I can grab it again off of Gnutella if I want to hear it again, a lot of things go into the trash and get dumped in order to keep my spaceball-pod in operation.

The next big collective would be KMFDM. The head of the collective was this German guy named Schorer, and he could produce stuff on 80's equipment that people can't produce today. The best tracks come off of the "Symbols," album, and "Megalomaniac," is the real pick. The KMFDM collective had a lot of Nazi overtones, but they were so incredible. One of their songs, "Sucks," mocks their own collective for programming and producing everything so that they can make money without having to work too hard. Another great track was a mid-90's remix of Skinny Puppy's, "Addiction," by the collective, and that track is the best "gothic-electronica," piece ever produced, although it does have a couple of nearly-rans.

KMFDM had already started using sampled guitars, and then in 90 or 91, "Psalm 69," by Ministry came out. First, Ministry had done some glam versions of goth-synth, and the almost unknown, "Twitch," is actually a landmark album. Psalm 69 was an assault on New-Wave Right-Wing Christianity. "N.W.O," and "Just One Fix," are still some of the hardest and best Industrial Metal tracks ever, but fair warning - this is a black album - very - very - sinister. In particular the title track is a monster, and I laugh at it some days - but you've been given a fair warning. So - "Psalm 69," is the first true Industrial Metal album.

I remember a show where a punk-band pulled off NWO. NWO isn't tough, except to get the speed-riff right you've got to have an incredibly fast right-hand. All of us oldster's started chanting, "Praise Jesus," while the song went off like a bang, and you'd have to know Ministry to understand the joke.

If we're talking the first true metal record, it would be, "Kill 'Em All," by Metallica, which was like 86? - 88? - and that was the proto-typical thrash-metal album. Metallica's later work is totally different - and people always want to say, "sold-out." Okay - but if you have the chance to grab for big g's, pay your taxes and put it in the bank? - I myself might be willing to grab at the chance.

"Kill 'Em All," and "Ride the Lightning," and "Master of Puppets," were the albums, and what you hear there establishes the metal genre. There were other thrash groups, but Metallica reigned supreme in the thrash-scene. You also might want to check out "...And Justice for All," a progressive-metal album, and then "The Black Album," their big-seller, does have some great songs on it.

That is really the history section, and I'd like to mention just a couple of other groups. It's occurring to me I may be doubling material again. Oh well. Faith No More, the oldest mass-market Mike Patton group, "Angel Dust," being the album, and "Smaller and Smaller," being the best metal track on the album. They ran a keyboardist, but they are not to be scoffed at. There are other tracks, and you can go looking for those.

Zao, an indie-Christian group that pretty much started metalcore - although they're so hard that most people tag it, "death-core." The pick tracks are "Rising End," and "Lies of Serpents, A River of Tears." Meshuggah, which I mentioned earlier, the Swedish Aryan-metal band with a Yiddish name, the pick album being Chaosphere, and the pick tracks being, "Chaosphere," and "New Millenium Cyanide Christ."

Anthrax is a band that was doing rap-metal in the late 80's. Megadeth, which was Dave Mustaine's money-maker. Mustaine was a great guitarist, who said before Megadeth broke up that he was so sick of music that he didn't even want to turn on a record, but he's in recovery now and works as a studio-session chip-puncher. He is a big proponent of the digital Gibson guitar, which is one heck of a runner, and is also a real SOB to run.

Korn. Life is Peachy. They were actually good when they were underground. The style is pretty different from most metal, because the bass-lines are independent instead of locking with the rhythm guitar riffs. Slipknot. All the kids were raving a few years ago, and I found a cut by the group called, "Duality," that is total tech-awesome, and hints to me that they may have been Christian-metal. Oh and Sepultura. DO IT. ROOTS! Sepultura may be one of my tribes, even though I'm not really a metal-neon.

Fear Factory, just grab a track or two and see what you think, and get the catalog if you like it. Psychedelic glam, horror metal, some electronic elements. Nice stuff. White Zombie. "More Human than Human." Beware, but its a pick track.

Last but not least, the Tool. First off, "Track #1," (not the real name) and Aenima are the two best melodi-core songs ever done. Second, Aenima is the best metalcore album ever cut, just above Zao's "Serpent and Tears." Third, Aenima is some diseased garbage. You'll get leprosy listening to that stuff.

However, I admit to listening guiltily to the stuff because it's so METAL AWESOME - at least from time to time. The follow-up, "Lateralus," is good, but we're moving into progressive-rock territory rather than metal. It's up to you, but look out for sciatica if you buy Aenima or even try a few cuts off of the album.

Some New Approaches To Guitar, Lake Style, Part 1

I've decided that what I'm going to do is talk about my approach to guitar. First, we have to hit some complex theory about sound acoustics and harmonic overtones, and that is a pain in the hiney to get straight without being overly recondite. Second, I'm still a beginner on guitar, just running my fingers over the board and thinking about what the instrument might mean. However, what I want to try to do is to describe what I've been thinking about with the instrument up to this point, and we'll look at a new breakthrough I just made with an instrument that is a lovable illegitimate problem-child.

So we'll start with what is called, Fripp Standard Tuning. Now, if you tune Fripp-azoid, you have to use the right string tensions, and you need to heavily adjust your bridge and truss, because the upper course are tuned very high in comparison to standard tuning. Really, the Fripp-azoid standard works better on a guitar custom-made for the tuning.

The tuning has some real nice advantages, but remember, a standard guitar with too much tension between bridge, nut and truss can become a destroyed guitar incredibly rapidly. If you want to try the tuning, you may want to go to a good guitar shop and have them adjust it custom, if you can't afford the custom guitar. Also, it would be good to detune the courses before you put the guitar in the case, so that the tensions are relaxed while the guitar is being stored. This stuff causes all kinds of problems, but the Fripp-azoid was the bouncing off point for my own thoughts.

So, the tuning: C2 G2 D3 A3 E4 G4. The advantage of the Fripp-azoid Standard is that you can work in fifths across the board, and the minor-third caveat at the top also makes lead-lines easy to play. Fripp has played almost nothing but the Fripp-azoid for most of his Crim' career on electric guitar, and continues to play it in his work on acoustic guitar. Just remember, applying the Fripp-azoid can be a great way to destroy a guitar.

If you value your instrument, then you need to carefully consider how to properly apply the Fripp-azoid to the instrument. You should never apply the Fripp-azoid to a guitar with a fixed-bridge, unless it is custom-made for the tuning. Say farewell to your standard dreadnought.

Harmonics, Acoustics, and Tuning a Guitar

This is the tough part. We'll try for minimalism, but these are tough concepts. In classical music today, precision instruments in America are tuned to A 440 hz, which is A3, directly in the alto range. In Europe, they tune to an A 435 hz. Now this 5 cents doesn't move you sharp a half-step, although even to my ear, it does sound similar to that. What it actually does is to shift you into a different series of harmonics. If you listen to European classical-music recordings and you're used to American tuning, you can get a bit of an ear-ache listening to the recordings, and I'm sure that is also true in vice-versa.

There are advantages to the 440 A series, and there are advantages to the 435 A series. However, most popular music, even popular music that originates in Europe, tunes to a 440 A. The argument over where to place things with these 5 cents rages on, but for certain types of music, the 435 A series produces a much better sound. Still - let us assume that as a guitarist - you need to tune into the 440 A series.

One of the reasons we tune to this A3 is that it means that all of our overtones in the alto range and above are what are called, "true harmonics." So our resulting higher overtones are simply subdivisions of our fundamental alto A. We want to highlight our melody, and this makes our melodies sound much more clear and tuneful. In the bass-range, we multiply our fundamental A downward, creating, "false harmonics," and this creates a muddy sound in the bass. We have sacrificed the clarity of the bass-range for the clarity of our melodies in the alto and soprano range.

So, if you look back at the tunings that are commonly used in professional-guitar work today, you'll see that not one of them contains a true A3 on the open strings. We have a couple of options if we want to tune into the A3 series. We can tune to a synthetic A3 on the fretboard, which will produce some intonation problems - but can work. The other option is to revise our approach to tuning, and this is another advantage of the Fripp-azoid. You have a true A3 on an open-string - on your 2 string - or in more traditional parlance - on your "second-course."

Revising our Tuning Approach for Guitar

We're going to set out a basic rule for tuning a guitar. You need to tune with a tuning fork. Now, remember, practicality is an issue. If you're at a show, you don't normally have the time to tune with a fork, and its impractical because of the noise in the club as well. So it is often good to have a tuner on your board, and then you can kind of tweak things to get a nice sweet spot with the tuning.

Tuning purely by hertz creates a very brittle sound, so you start out by tuning quick from your digital tuner, and then sweeten her up. This is something else you can use a hognose for, as it is hard to tune from an open-monitor. Keeping things tuned up during a show is pretty important, even if you are going for metal crunch or a hard-rock clash.

It will increase the clarity of your sound a great deal, and most clubs don't run a good PA, and it can save your hiney if you keep things as clear as possible. It is nice to have things as clear as possible in the first place. Still, it really becomes a problem with a muddy PA if you don't sweeten up your tuning between tunes.

So - when you aren't at a gig, you get your guitar out, and you hit the fork, and you tune up. You do this every time you get the guitar out - at least once - whether it sounds in tune or not. Do it multiple times when you're at home for practice. This is a very simple-method of training the ear, and if you keep after it, you can laugh at people with, "perfect-pitch." You will proceed to out-do a good hertz monitor with only your ear.

There are small tuning forks for violins available at your local music-store that strike at an A 440, and they cost maybe 8 or 9 dollars. The sound is not very loud, but they are perfectly fine. If you have the cash, you can shell-out for a proper tuning fork, and those run at least in the hundreds of dollars. I haven't shelled out for one yet, and even though I could use a much louder fork-vibration, the little cheapie-violin fork is working out just fine.

I had come up with a tuning, and it went like this: C2 G2 D3 F3 A4 D4. The advantage over the Fripp-azoid is that we are well within tensions for a standard guitar bridge. Also, the tuning is nearly the same as an old viol tuning. The viol in question was a great deal like a six-string cello. The modern precision-cello is a four-string fretless instrument tuned so: C2 G2 D3 A3.

With a cello you use an A fundamental on your first course, and then tune downward in reverse. The reverse-tuning makes the cello fairly problematic as an instrument, but it is also one of the most beautiful instruments used in standard classical repertoire. The goal with this tuning with an open-A3 is that you will strike your fork, tune your second course, and then tune your lower courses in reverse, and then tune up to your first course.

if you can, find some good string quartet or classical-music that features a cello. You can do a budget recording if you can't afford anything else. I'll see if I can come up with some suggestions for some pieces you might look for on recording.

So I've been running my hands over that tuning with that F on the third course, and I was looking over some things and I came up with a better idea. It is a great deal like a sawmill-tuning, and it places things in a place that is really - really - nice. So after fooling with the problem quite a while, I came up with this: C2 G2 D3 E3 A3 E4.

The only problem is that with a second between the fourth and third course, you get a lot of ninth-clusters with your standard shapes. However, after working over the SOB a great deal, I'm pretty sure I'm sticking with this as the standard-tuning for my principal guitar. The ones I'm planning to tune in other tunings we'll talk about in another article coming up. Next though - we're going to talk metal - and I admit that is not my specialty, but we'll hit what I can, and then we'll probably talk ROCK. So off we go!

Meditations on the Western Tribe

I cannot remember for the life of me if I've published any of this material - and I'm not going to check! There may be a total repeat of most of this material in another article, and I've just decided not to worry about it. We're going to talk about Classical civilizations, but I want to start from where we originate as a Western culture. Classical civilizations were probably the first time in history in the West when people no longer lived at a subsistence level, as our Appalachians in the last article continue to do. There were superiorities to our civilization in Classical civilizations, some radical parallels, and also - when it comes to engineering - we have changed everything and are far superior.

Let us look back first into the annals of our archaeology in cultural anthropology. Our earliest records in the West are what are called, "Early Hebraic Records," and also the early cuneiform scripts in the Tigris River Valley that is currently in Iran. While the early Hebraic records are pagan, there is already a sense of monotheism developing in these early records. The Hebraides were an apparently very warlike nomadic tribe that lived in the Sinai region, which is one of the worst wastelands on the planet, and apparently always has been.

The cuneiform scripts show both a sense of ancestral worship, and also a pretty interesting cosmology. The Sumer's had one type of deity, whether it was a demi-god, a true deity or an ancestral icon or cultural hero. They simply called all of those a, "spirit." The only differentiation they made between spirits with any regularity was, "clean," and, "unclean." One of the most frequently worshipped spirits of Sumer was the war-spirit Marduk, who - as far as I know - was always referred to as an, "unclean spirit."

The cult of Marduk was one of the worst cults of murder we've ever seen described in history - from what I've read. People hated and feared Marduk in Sumer, and he was only worshipped so much for a reason of geography. Sumer remains one of the most fertile areas of the world, and it was at one time possible to grow incredible agriculture there with no crop rotation for year upon year. This would have made Sumer a place of incredible luxury, except that Sumer has no geographical defenses. So, since the land was so desirable, tribe after tribe waltzed in and destroyed the other tribe utterly for era after era. The conditions of constant war in Sumer were so awful as to be called unlivable in many of the cuneiform scripts.

The place where the Tigris and Euphrates meet is described as the Garden of Eden in the beginning of Genesis, and this is very likely a remnant of some of our oldest Western records. What wound up happening in the West is that the monotheistic bent of the Hebraides records became ascendent. In terms of religion, the three major Western religions are Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. All three practice some form of monotheism, meaning that the ideal absolute is a unified creator-god, though in all three religions we see a split between types, names, or even forms of this unified creator-god.

Both sets of our earliest records in the West are probably around 7000 years old, or just a few centuries younger. What comes down to us today in Western Scriptures is most certainly derived from these records, particularly these Hebraic records, although there has been a great deal of transformation of those early records and the inherent ideals contained within them. In the West then, our traditions all stem from what is essentially Hebraic thought, although even the old nations of North Israel and Judea were not exactly what the Hebraides were. The concepts of Sumer were never widely disseminated, although we will see in our discussion of classical civilizations that paganism was widespread in the West.

The next major development in the West comes with the establishment of the Western philosophical tradition, which centered in Greece at around perhaps 2300 or even 2400 years ago. This tradition is largely of Platonic Athens, and is the direct motivation for the formation of the fabulous engineering we are capable of today. Science as a method begins in a very crude fashion at this point, and classical civilization is just around the same age. What we would typically call classical civilizations are Athenian Greece and the Latin Empires up until the formation of Christianity.

The method of classifying lacks some clarity and objectivity, but the basic idea stands that we have in the West a religious tradition that adopted the leanings of this minor Hebraides tribe that wandered this desolate wasteland. Then we have a philosophical tradition that begins with a pre-Platonic philosophy that begins in Athenian Greece. We'll get to more in the next article but those are the things to keep in mind.

Meditations on the Human Tribe

I thought of another one of my tribes, and really my principal tribe, which is Appalachian, and I thought we might do some culture notes here. Remember, I'm not a bigot, but I have my prejudices and I am no picture of political-correctness. Still, it seems like a good thing to talk about. I was raised in a white, American, middle-class suburban world, but I wasn't a good fit there. As I talked about in an earlier post, I hung with the Puerto Ricans in Middle School, and I'm still proud of my Puerto Rican tribe. Still, I also have an Appalachian identity I think, which may revise some of my earlier statements - but oh swell.

I've done a lot of research on Appalachian life. I have a group of family members - distantly removed on my mother's-mother's side, called the Bucks. The Bucks - this is real - fled to Appalachia during the Whiskey Rebellion, which occurred just after the institution of the U.S. Federal Constitution. The Bucks' family were whiskey distillers, and the government had instituted laws to control and tax the production of whiskey that they took rather great offense to - as most whiskey producers did at the time. Most of those whiskey distillers were in Kentucky, and those who weren't killed in the conflict either decided to comply or fled to the hills.

The Bucks I derive from moved down from the hills and home-steaded in Illinois. They still produce some batches of whiskey and rye for themselves. "Whiskey and rye," is a corn-based sour-mash whiskey that has some handfuls of rye seeds thrown into the ferment. Rye produces ergot-compounds when it ferments, which makes whiskey and rye a bit more than a whiskey treat. It makes it a powerful hallucinogenic draught.

Consequently, the whole Buck family is out of their minds. I went to a family reunion at the Vet Club with my mother one year, and they were hiding the stash of whiskey and rye and smoking cartons of non-filter government issue cigarettes - the kind that say "Cigarettes" in black plain-font on the side. There was also a family member who knew how to make real red-velvet cake with cream-icing. The icing probably contained some lard, and was fabulous even though it tasted like government-issue cigarettes. The clouds of smoke were so heavy that I ate some dirty wings and velvet cake and left in less than an hour, but the experience was one not to be missed. I avoided the whiskey and rye.

Further, the Bucks may be out of their minds and smoke non-filters by the carton, but they live for years beyond the average age of a middle-class suburbanite. Many of them live well into their 90's. When I first saw, "Grumpy Old Men," and the old man is sitting on the bench proclaiming, "Those idiot doctors! I eat bacon and eggs fried in bacon-grease for breakfast, a bacon-sandwich fried in bacon-grease for lunch, and I drink my dinner, and I've outlived 10 of those doctors!" - that is Appalachia. It sums up every word of the Appalachian tribe. When I saw that scene, I nearly fell on the floor thinking of Daddy Buck, the scandal of Penfield, Illinois, stashing his whiskey and rye and stolen cigarettes and probably eating lard and bacon grease when he did't drink his meal. Daddy Buck lived to be somewhere around 93.

Like most Appalachians, the Bucks are of Scotch-Irish descent, and other than the drinking stories - they told a lot of traditional Appalachian folktales that go back to that Scotch-Irish syncretism and living in the hills. I was not able to catch too much more than the drinking stories, but I do remember the sort of atmosphere. Some of the interest I've taken in folk-music, like that "old-grass," I talked about, is derived or directly comes from the history of that Scotch-Irish meld.

Life in the foothills of Appalachia is not easy, and what I'm going to tell you may shock you, but for most of history, some similar pattern was lived by nearly all of humanity. The center of most communities in Appalachia is Baptistry. It is a very strict form of Baptistry. There is no infant baptism allowed. When a young man or woman - who survives - gets to be about 13 or 14, they talk to the minister, and they are asked if they feel called to be Christian. If they do, then they are baptized and given a new baptismal name. Saying no means exile from the community, and this is nearly entirely absolute.

Most people are commonly referred to by some nickname, "Peg," or "Sue," or "Bud," or "Hank," but your second name is considered your actual name. Also, this is no "rinse-and-repeat," form of Baptistry. Baptism is the central piece of Appalachian life, other than marriage, and a second baptism will lead to exile or sometimes - death.

If you are a member of the community, you show up at Church, at the risk of fantastic persecution. The minister is the head of the community, and the local government generally meets and acts through the Church. There will be one Church, and one minister, and sometimes a minister-in-training. There will be some local law authority, and they will have uniforms made by the community or purchased somewhere - but they generally drive around in jalopy's. Generally the only people that will have access to a car will be the minister and the local law enforcement.

Women have a lot of power in Appalachian communities, but they are so constantly pregnant that those who live to be married don't live much longer. Divorce is also heavily persecuted, and legal-separation status is not an option. It is real that if a woman were to walk out of a marriage in Appalachia and not exit the community - sure they will persecute her to death. However, the other philosophy is that if the woman walked out - then you as a man were irresponsible for your home, and you are going to be the one who pays - big time. You better steal a jalopy or have the endurance to run to more civilized land, or you are going to be very - very sorry.

Since women die so frequently in childbirth, the men will take a wife after she dies, and this cycle continues. A man who manages to live to advanced age may have 20 or more children, and they will be farmed out into the community. If you asked a man from this culture about the practice, he might say, "I shor' do miss my first wife. No good man forgets his first wun'."

People live from a vegetable garden, some light livestock, and some hunting and gathering. They make most of what they need, but they usually buy the materials from a place that sells industrial goods. They are constantly hungry.

The other thing is that people of Appalachia are incredibly hospitable and kind if they feel you can be trusted. If you enter such a community - I do not advise it - then even though you would always be an outsider, if they felt you could be trusted they would go out of their way to make sure you survived. However, most people who are not born into this culture arrive on the run from the law. The American government does not control Appalachia well, and most people know that, and a criminal intent is not a good intent to take to the hills.

The community will wait for some nastiness to develop, then persecute the person, and then they take care of them - in a different manner. The most common solution is to beat the person near to death and drop them somewhere where they will be found by the civilized. There are other much more nasty solutions, though the reality is that they are rarely practiced.

Two other problems are when a community is poisoned - usually by syphilis. An already savage life becomes a riot of leprous individuals killing each other, and the end result is the destruction of the entire community. Another thing is that in Appalachian tradition, you do not go up into the higher parts of the Appalachian mountains. The Appalachian mountains are not much more than large hills. They are very old mountain formations. Appalachians do tell tall-tales - I love to tell tall-tales - but one of the more reality-based traditions seems to be, "the hill people."

Apparently there are people who live high up on the Appalachian mountains, and the sightings of them - according to Appalachians - are of people of total madness and deformity. The trope is, "You go up any further and you don't come down." Appalachians are insular, and I understand - utter shock and horror - but many people will live the way of life rather than move to civilization. Some of that is upbringing, and some of it is that the lifestyle does have some value. "Don't rise above your raisin's," is another common Appalachian trope.

The only person who can read in the community is usually the minister. There is one book allowed in the entire community - usually - and it is almost always the King James Bible. It can be okay to visit Appalachia - I haven't - but you can be in danger if you bring any books there other than the Bible, and probably if it isn't only that version, "up thar' into thar' hills."

Because the American government has so much trouble controlling Appalachia, the government may never be able to prosecute your killer or even find your body if things get hostile. Appalachians don't mind a visit, but don't go alone, and be respectful. Further, it is really better to stay away, and I've moved to do so over the years - although to, "find my rutt's" (there is no such diphthong in English) would be a great experience for me.

I'll be back. I might try the metal article, or I might talk about Classical civilizations, as I've studied that stuffin' as well over the years. We'll see. I need a break and some food-age. LOL!