The Introductory Post to A Blog that Can't Go Well

Greetings Internet hoodlums, con-men, scum, pornographers, child abusers, and the rare person on the 'Net looking for a dose of reality and maybe even a little bit of enjoyment. Remember, if it's useless, it's on the Internet, and the transverse also applies, and this blog will be no exception to those global rules of the Global 'Net. I am not going to swear or be explicit on this blog, but the inevitable spleen and controversy may cause my "freebie"-blogspot-blog to be closed next to immediately. We shall have to wait and see. Futher, because almost all people on the Internet are hoodlums, con-men, scum pornographers and child abusers, no one gets to comment on my blog except me. If you are that rare person that really wants to see something worthwhile on the Internet, and maybe even laugh a little, then read on, otherwise, you may continue to be a scumbag who is not allowed to make my life any more miserable by saying awful things to me in order to abuse me psychologically. Have a nice day, whether you are capable of having one or not.

The basic topic of this blog will be writing, and possibly music and music recordings occasionally. However, this blog will not teach you how to write writing that will be published. There are three best ways to get published, in order of significance: 1) Bribe a publisher with as much money as you have. 2) Write as hackneyed, simple-minded, and pornographic material as you possibly can write. 3) Include as much noise in the actual content of the book as possible, as 6 to 800 pages qualifies as a well-edited book in the publishing industry today. If you want to be a published writer, that is all you need to know, but I can insert another 6 to 800 pages of noise if you are willing to pay me for the effort.

As for music, the same exact publishing efforts will put you in a very lucrative position, and I do not discuss that kind of music, even if it means I have to disallow comments on a free blog. Even good "pop music," is not to be scoffed at, but your local CD store is filled with 5 CD's of good "pop music," and 10,000 recordings of absolute garbage, some in DVD-quality format. We may touch on what I consider to be "good pop," music, but I'm principally interested in classical and contemporary classical music, jazz, and sophisticated forms of electronic composition.

Finally, in publishing they've heard it all before, but this time it is real. I am in fact one of the most talented writers, composers and musicians in the country, and I am thirty years old, and would never even be able to get two sentences of my work read, or 15 seconds of my music heard. I do not have a degree and I deserve one, having spent the money and actually having studied, unlike my peers that attended commencement, and I am at least lucky enough to be considered too physically and mentally ill to be forced to work at a fry-vat. The money isn't good, but I do get a lot of free time to make real art, instead of Bible-length tomes about evisceration, sexy young girls and boys, or "cliff's notes," versions of Lord of the Rings.

The next post is going to be a brief biography. I'm going to give you my real biography, but I cannot use my real name or offer a significant contact of any kind, as being honest is unpopular among scumbags, and has led to death threats and all kinds of insane, whacko-behavior, even when I'm not breathing acid as I am currently doing. After the biography, I'm going to make some suggestions as to what "real writing," might be considered, some of the ways to organize making "real writing," and also point out some books that are very nice writing exercise books, and make some other pointers that might get people off on a better foot.

Also, I used to a "Sir Blog-alot, the Blogger Sundae Parfait," but I now generally make a blog, and it falls into disuse, is closed, and I start a new one. This blog comes out of a commitment that maybe someone out there isn't scum and might like a little good material to read, and that it might be a sort of community-action to write a little honest, thoughtful material, which contained a vocabulary of more than 20 words, including slang and swear words. I'll be coming back with at least two new posts and then it will probably be time for a nice, lazy, afternoon nap.